I’m gonna get a demerit

heatherinparadise — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:26:21 +0000

I assigned “homework” during the blogger’s conference, taken from the book No One Cares What You Had For Lunch, and Wayne instructed us all to post our homework today.

Looking around quickly, it appears that even slackers like Lisa Love Loca have done their homework, so I’m in serious trouble.

Unfortunately, it looks like I’m not going to have mine in on time. Went home from work last night to no internet…damn CableMenos! If I have the internets when I go home tonight, I’ll do it then.

Also, Rivergirl Kim will be late with her homework as well, since I have to send her the assignment when I have internet from home.

Yes, I’m at work right now, posting a quick blog. Don’t call me and tell on me, I’m a pretty strict boss and I might fire myself.

What’d I say?!? What’d I say?!?

heatherinparadise — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:29:30 +0000

Yikes, what a fun weekend! The First Annual (we hope) Latin American Blogger’s Meet went off without a hitch (well, I had a few hitches, but I’ll tell you about those later) and I had a fantastic time. I’d like to thank Wayne of Gringo in Paradise for all his hard work in putting this together, everything he chose, from the restaurants to the activities, was just perfect.

While I organize my thoughts and my photos, I’ll start you off with a handful of quotes that I found amusing, taken entirely out of context, of course, for your pleasure. Reading some of these, it’s difficult to imagine what the conversation could POSSIBLY have been. I’d like to give a special shout-out to Mimi, of Blah Blah Blah Ginger fame, for providing me with so many juicy quotes.

No answer is the answer.

My husband loves lesbians!

He’s just not that into you.

Ooohh, that’s ok—leave the chunks to me.

Well, it’s kind of beat up and it needs a little servicing.

I write tall.

Ow, my bum hurts!

It’s like all beautiful here and shit.

The hole! The hole! Ahhhhh!!

I purposely lick things that look gross.

Mexican Ice Cream!! Different flavors!!

Danger! Danger!

Here’s to dog hair!

Get your tongue off my wand!

Oh, man, that bounced off!

Is your stick pink?

P.U.! I always hated this corner.

Here, you can have it back, I’m done fondling it.

You can oomph oomph all you want, I’m still not going to carry you.

Those a-holes! Taking the golf cart and leaving us to walk!

Ooh, I’m easy.

Be careful going down, don’t hurt your head.

I taught him to blow it out his ass.

Paul taught me a secret—squeeze it out the end.

Stanley, you need a stiffer neck.

I just pull ‘em apart

I almost hugged that guy!

Well hi, you, do you wanna come live with me?

I’m sweating my balls off!

Squeeze ‘em in between.

*edited to add: I challenge my friends to guess which three of these statements were made by me (Michael guessed immediately, as did my BFF Sara. )

More to come, y’all, so stay tuned.

Heather in Paradise » Blog Conference

I’m gonna get a demerit

What’d I say?!? What’d I say?!?