Heather in Paradise » Life in Mexico

Saturday, July 3 is International Free Hugs Day

heatherinparadise — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 03:20:58 +0000

I’ve been avoiding you again, you see how I am? I’m ok, just still going through a lot emotionally and physically.

I’m still looking forward to to participating in International Free Hugs Day this Saturday, July 3. Hopefully some others will join me, but if not, I’m still going to go make an ass of myself and do it. Here are the details for the Playa del Carmen contingent:

What: International Free Hugs Day (“C’mon, people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together and try to love one another…blah blah blah”)
Where: Meet at Carboncitos Restaurant, Calle 4 between avenidas 5 and 10
When: 3 pm, this Saturday, July 3
How: Dress comfortably and bring your “Free Hugs/Abrazos Gratis” signs, or the materials to quickly make them as we enjoy 2×1 Margaritas to loosen us up enough to hug perfect strangers and spread good feelings, love, and affection
Why: Today is a bad day to ask why, as I’ve had a rotten day. Today I’d be more likely to participate in “Free Black Eye Day.” Let’s hope I’m feeling more my loving self by Saturday.

All jokes aside, I’m looking forward to this reminder of what is really important in life: Human connections and love. See you then!

Hug Me

heatherinparadise — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 02:27:44 +0000

One of the main reasons I have been posting so sporadically on my blog for the last 2+ years is something I have not wanted to really talk about publicly: Major debilitating depression. While I’ve struggled with depression on and off through much of my life, the period of time between late 2007 and mid 2009 was exceptionally bleak, to a degree I had never experienced and did not know how to handle.

I didn’t want to blog about it for a number of reasons. First, I didn’t want to scare people who love me. Second, with a fledgling business, I did not want to alienate potential or current clients who might stumble across this blog and not want to work with me. Although I have always done what I can to keep my professional life OFF this blog, I’m not obtuse enough not to know how easy it is to find me with a google search. Finally, the worthlessness and despair I felt was so complete as to render any attempts at trying to make sense of it moot, and I could not then and still cannot find the words to describe how bad I felt.

Long time readers of this blog already know that in the last year, I’ve made a number of major life changes, with extremely positive results. I am, and have been for almost a year, the happiest I have ever been. While I still struggle from time to time with depression, I recognize the signs now and can quickly mend the things that are amiss and change my thought patterns to feel better. Recently, it occurred to me that for the first time in my life, I know myself to be a happy person who sometimes gets sad, and not a sad person who is only occasionally happy. The incredibly positive change this self-realization has effected in my life cannot be overstated.

All of this said, in the last month I have struggled mightily with insomnia, which for me is often a precursor to slipping into a depression. Several nights ago, when it was five am and I still had not been able to close my eyes without being visited by the Shrieking Weasels of Impending Doom, I decided to do some research on a life-affirming movement I’d heard about a few years ago: The Free Hugs Campaign.

In 2004, a man who identifies himself as Juan Mann found himself in his hometown of Sydney, Australia, after a number of years living in another country. He arrived back “home” with only a suitcase of clothes, a world of cares, and a sense of disconnection with the life he’d once lived there. Landing at the airport with no one to greet him, he found himself looking longingly at other travelers around him who were laughing and hugging their arriving loved ones. He wished he had someone to hug him.

In this moment of isolation and despair was born a revolutionary idea. Juan Mann “set up shop” in a busy Sydney outdoor mall, holding aloft a large, hand-lettered sign that said “FREE HUGS.” Then he just waited for someone to take him up on his offer. At first, people laughed at him, stared, and whispered. Eventually, an older woman came up, told him she was having a terrible day as her dog had just died that morning, on the first anniversary of her daughter’s death. She needed a hug, and Juan had a hug to give. It didn’t take long for others to follow suit, and naturally such a subversive idea (What?? You’re not selling anything? There’s no catch, just a free hug?) caught people’s attention.

A local band, Sick Puppies, was moved by Juan’s mission and presented him with a video they’d made of his Free Hug footage set to one of their songs. This video became an internet sensation, spawning Free Hug Campaigns in dozens of countries all over the world.

Here you can watch the “original” Free Hugs video:

And here is one of my favorites of the “copycat” Free Hugs Campaigns, in New York City:

What does all of this have to do with me and my story of depression? Perhaps nothing more than an epiphany that we are all more alike than we are different, and that it is vitally important that we connect with each other and help each other get through lives that can at times be difficult, lonely, or filled with hopelessness. We must be there for one another both in sadness and in joy.

Every year, International Free Hugs Day is held on the first Saturday in July. This year, it is July 3, which is incidentally the day before my 6 year anniversary of living in Mexico. I will be showing my gratitude and love for my adopted country by participating in Free Hugs Day in Playa del Carmen on July 3, offering free hugs to Mexican locals, ex-pats, and international tourists alike.

I would love it if some of my friends would join me, but if they won’t, I will go it alone. If you can’t be in Playa del Carmen on July 3, consider participating in the Free Hugs Campaign in your own town.

Anyone from Cancun, Playa del Carmen, or Tulum (or anywhere in the area!) who’d like to give out some free hugs with me on July 3 can contact me via this website. My email address is under the “About Me” tab.

Seen in Tulum #1

heatherinparadise — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 06:52:15 +0000

While I was outside cleaning the terrace in the main unit the other day, preparing for a new guest’s arrival, I heard, OVER the Ipod music blaring in my ears, the kind of fake, high-pitched girlie-girl laughter one might hear in a bad soft-core porn movie.

I looked down toward the beach in front of the neighbor’s house and saw four fully naked, attractive young women laughing their fake laughter and building a giant sand penis. Then I saw one older, unattractive bald man FILMING them.

I admit, I couldn’t help watching. The scene was just bizarre…first, it has been unseasonably cold here, and this day was no exception. The sun was out, but STILL, it was far too chilly for full on nakedness. Second, while Tulum attracts the nudies and the hippies, this scene was just so unnatural and forced that it stood out much more than seeing some random crunchy-granola hairy man walking down the beach.

As I went back to my work, two of the women were hugging up on the unattractive man, giggling and running their french-manicured acrylics up and down his chest. My imagination portrays this man as a wealthy old perv with a skewed sense of the sexy from many years of watching porn, but I admit my own bias has the heaviest hand in painting that portrait. I’m not averse to pornography and think it has its place in a healthy sex life, but prefer scenes that feature people who look like people engaging in relatively normal activities. Not, say, four naked women building a giant sand penis while a man old enough to be their father films them. But that’s me.

One thing is certain, I’ve never seen anything this interesting in Playa del Carmen. I don’t know if they were all staying in the rental home next door, but at 2am, there was a lot of shouting and slamming of doors over there. Trouble in paradise?

Halloween 2009

heatherinparadise — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:17:26 +0000

My favorite night of the year has come and gone once again. Playa del Carmen’s Halloween action just seems to get better and better each passing year. This was my 6th Halloween here and each year it seems the costumes get more creative, parties wilder, and decorations more elaborate. Here are a few photos.

Kiss deserved every accolade and prize they won that night…they were fantastic. Costumes totally homemade with bits and pieces of various items (tubing, garden hose), covered in lots of glitter and spray paint. Phenomenal job, guys.

I thought my costume turned out pretty well, too…it sure was a handful of hours and two burned-out glue guns to get all those feathers onto the fan. Kudos to my friend Anita, who brought me 100 peacock tail feathers and the blue wig; all the rest was scrounged up here. I was lucky enough to win the Best Female Costume contest at Luna Blue Bar, 500 pesos!! I also won a free dive with Abyss Dive Shop from La Ranita Bar (but I don’t dive, is anyone interested?).

I am so naughty…the look on Centaur Corbin’s face cracks me UP.

I just love how Playenses really get into their costumes.

Dick in a Box

I was kind of trapped outside most of the bars…the tail was great, but I think I’ll go with something easier to manage next year.

Bomberos’ Three Legged Race Video

heatherinparadise — Fri, 22 May 2009 18:02:57 +0000

I know it’s been months now since the Three Legged Race/Bar Crawl Fundraiser for the Riviera Maya Bomberos, but I’ve just now been given the resulting video of the event, made by my talented friend, Ken Brownlee, of Visual Media Productions. Can you spot Sara and me?

If you’d like to learn more about the history and current mission/goals of the Riviera Maya Bomberos organization, here is a video of the incomparable Comandante/Director Brian Borjesson

Thanks again, from the bottom of my heart, for your continued support of the Riviera Maya Bomberos. Hopefully we will never need them, but it’s reassuring to know we’ve got them on our side.

You’re totally busted, dude.

heatherinparadise — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 22:28:49 +0000

This morning, after my weekly hour-long wait in the bank line, I hopped onto one of the tiny little colectivos to head back to the office. These particular colectivos are miniscule vans with seats around the inside rear cargo area and standing room in the center aisle. These vans are NOT ideal for anyone over, say, 5’5″ tall. Needless to say, when I get into and out of these “vans,” it’s like watching a clown at the circus getting out of a mini car.

The colectivo was pretty full when I got on and, as usual, there was blatant gawking at the rare appearance of a gringa on the route. I stood in the center aisle, but a woman tapped me and indicated a small space on the seat next to her.

Not wanting to be rude and decline her offer, and also hoping to straighten my back and remove my head from the roof, I squished myself next to her. In the process, I accidentally butted up against the legs of the teen boy to my left, who immediately jerked his knees away from my ass.

I heard the man across from me say, in Spanish, “She’s bigger than Mexicans,” with a sly nudge nudge/wink wink tone.

I looked right in his eyes and replied, in Spanish, “Yes, I have a big ass.”

His eyes got as big as saucers as he said, “You understand Spanish?!” Everyone around him laughed, as did I, and we chatted for the next 10 blocks.

Always an adventure.

Last call before Sara and Heather drink too much alcohol!!

heatherinparadise — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 21:57:21 +0000

We’re just three days away from the annual Three Legged Race/Bar Crawl to benefit the Riviera Maya Bomberos.

The struggling economy has proved difficult for fundraising this year, and it’s fairly apparent we’re not going to meet or exceed last year’s donation total, but we’re still pretty stoked that we’ve raised a total of 1,422 usd to date!!! Yay, you people!

If any of you are in town, you MUST come down to La Ranita Bar, part of La Rana Cansada hotel on Calle 10 between avenidas 5 and 10, starting at 7 pm. Will this be the year that Heather’s “no-puke streak” ends? Only time will tell.

There’s still time to help our hardworking, life-risking firefighters earn money for needed equipment and training! No donation is too big or too small, every single centavo helps.

And remember, the highest individual donor gets to go on a date with Sara and Heather!

If you’d like to sponsor our team and raise money for Firemen who desperately need you, please donate by going to www.PayPal.com and clicking on the link that says “send money.” Then just follow the prompts to donate directly to us by using the following email address:

info@caribesunrise.com

Please be sure to write in your comments/subject line “Three Legged Race.” We will keep you updated with donation totals.

For further information or to register your team please call: 984-135-1233 or e-mail:

kegsbar@hotmail.com

We are also taking business/corporate sponsors!! Contact us at info@caribesunrise.com or editor@playamayanews.com if you’d like to be mentioned on Playa Maya News, Playa.info, and Heather in Paradise!!

Ask an Expat! The catch-up edition.

heatherinparadise — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 01:13:23 +0000

The past couple of months have found me really, really busy at work and I’ve neglected the emails I’ve gotten from my readers. Today, I caught up quite a bit, so am now able to answer these mails.

Welcome to the 2nd installment of Ask an Expat!

Q.
My family and I have been to Playa before, love it there, will be back this week. You have a great website about it; one thing I was wondering, though– do you know if there is anywhere in Playa to get the NY Times or even the Miami Herald?

Also, do you have a link to the property mgmnt website you mentioned?
It really is a beautiful place….

Thank you for your mail! I don’t know of any location in Playa that sells the NY Times, I wish there was! There is a Miami Herald-Cancun edition, but it’s pretty useless, in my opinion. Mostly advertising about Cancun destinations or real estate.

You can find my business website at www.caribesunrise.com

I am thinking about moving down there from California but am getting mixed messages from people regarding finding work if you are an American. The person who gave me your email address said it will be very hard if not impossible to get a job and that I will run out of money and probably end up having to move back home.

I am 40, I have a girlfriend that is about 27, who has been living in Cancun and now Playa del Carmen for the past year and she says that she gets jobs fairly easy and resorts and tourist places want Americans to work there and they get the work permits for you and just take a little money out of each check to cover the costs. right now she is selling timeshares and although she is not making great $$ she has made enough to stay a whole year so far.. Is is possible to make $$$ or do most people come down there and fail??

Do you have any tips or suggestions???? Thanks

It is not easy to find a job here as a foreigner, but it is not impossible. You have to be persistent and dedicated, however.

You should make sure to save enough money that you could live on for at least 3-6 months while you search for a job. If you’re willing to work in timeshares, it will likely be easier for you to find a job. That wasn’t an option for me, but I did luck into a job simply by keeping my ears open, participating in local forums, and being in the right place at the right time. Now I own my own business, though it is still not successful enough for me to not work for others.

My best advice is to do your research and really prepare yourself for what living here entails. Dealing with immigration is a necessary, but awful part of life here. It’s expensive and frustrating, and not all employers are willing to help cover that cost. I’m unsure of what the housing market is like in Cancun, but here in Playa, rent is high. Be prepared to work 6 days a week.

I think it’s most important that you have realistic expectations about what life in “paradise” is like. People find it hard to believe when I’ve said that at times, living here can be quite hard. Often they roll their eyes and say, sarcastically, poor baby! They can’t believe that I can go 6 months and not step foot on 5th avenue…or on the beach. Sad, but true is the fact that, apart from yesterday, I had not been to the beach in months . Like most of us here, I work 6 days a week and on Sunday, typically attend to the little household chores and errands that don’t get done during the week, so it can be difficult to fit in beach time. Furthermore, one of the things we agreed to upon moving here was a reduced standard of living and low cash flow, so we stick to things we can afford, which leaves out most of the activities that tourists enjoy.

If you still want to move here, after you’ve thought long and hard about all of these things and done your research on the various forums, then sell your crap and come on down. It’s true that many people don’t make it and pack up and leave, but the tenacious, realistic ones will make it. Cream rises, baby.

Ok, two more questions tomorrow. Ciao, bellos!

Buenaas! Buenaaas! Buenaaaaas!

heatherinparadise — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 19:30:49 +0000

Almost 5 years of life in Mexico has changed some things that I at first thought strange into completely normal daily occurences: Cooking with propane gas tanks, not flushing toilet paper, paying bills by waiting in line, etc. These are things I no longer even think about, just as I no longer hear the rooster crowing or the roof dog barking.

Some things I still find unusual and still notice, but enjoy, like the vendors who move down the street blowing whistles or honking a horn, trying to sell strawberries or sharpen your kitchen knives for you. These things bring up fairly romantic images for me of the old-timey tinker with his pack mule full of necessary wares. If I want something, I run out to catch him. If I don’t, I let him walk on by.

But there is one common practice here that I absolutely dislike and don’t think I will ever get used to.

Several times a day, a stranger will come to my gate and yell out, “BUENAS!” If I don’t answer right away, which I don’t, they wait a few seconds and yell again, “BUENAAS!” When I STILL ignore them (and by now I’m not moving or breathing and trying to hunch away from the windows they’re crouching down to try to look in from my front gate), they let out with a long, grating, drawn-out, “BUENAAAAAAS!”

I used to go out to greet each person, but now I don’t. Why? Because I learn from experience. I do not want to sell the van that is parked in my yard. I do not know the person who is on the letter you have to deliver (and btw, that address is not even CLOSE to this one). I do not want to discuss Jesus and I do not want to witness Jehovah. I cannot give you a ride to work, nor do I know how much the house next door is renting for.

What I find most distressing about this is the constant interruption to my day/work, as well as the fact that my dogs go crazy barking for the entire ten or more minutes the person will stand there. Today it has been almost a constant stream of strangers hanging on my gate and yelling at me.

Can anyone help me find this in Spanish?

Or better yet, how about this one?

Now let’s not get me started on the people who come to pick up their friends at 6.30 am and blare their horn or stand outside their friend’s window yelling up, “Francisca!! Franciiiiiscaaaa!!!”

You Are Powerless To Resist

heatherinparadise — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:01:23 +0000

Since my BFF Sara already started a “detox” diet and I started one today, we decided together to have a “last stand” at her house last Saturday. Hilarity ensued.

When I saw the photos we took of our wine/Almond Joy/gummi bear/Hershey’s bacchanalia, I couldn’t help but think that these photos would show all of our Three Legged Race sponsors just what an Olympics-quality team they’re standing behind.

For anyone considering sponsoring us, don’t miss your chance to win a date with these chicas by being the highest individual donor; they truly know how to have a good time. Our friend Maureen saw these photos and said we remind her of Lucy and Ethel. That was one of the greatest compliments I’ve ever gotten…Sara and I crack each other up.

I don’t feeeel so good.

I’m not sleeping, I’m just resting my eyes.

Do we have anything in our teeth?

info@caribesunrise.com

Please be sure to write in your comments/subject line “Three Legged Race.” We will keep you updated with donation totals.

For further information or to register your team please call: 984-135-1233 or e-mail:

kegsbar@hotmail.com