I realize it’s been months since I wrote a blog and this one is not the one I had in mind as my great re-entry into this sphere, but the muse is a fickle bitch and tells me what she wants to say. There will be blogs to follow, full of excuses, recriminations, rationalizations, all of that, so you’ll have that to look forward to, but for now, I just have to say this:
I love you.
Today I went in search of a song to make some sense of the grief and sorrow I have been feeling the last few days on behalf of a good friend, and this song appeared; like Jack’s magic beans it grew a beanstalk that I was able to climb up high to get the bigger picture.
“Do you Realize” by The Flaming Lips
This song reminded me that “life goes fast,” and that rather than wait until it’s almost over to tell people how I feel, I should let them know all along, in the midst of life and for no other reason and with no other agenda apart from letting them know they are loved.
And so I am here to tell you that I love you.
If you have wiped a child’s runny nose, mooed when driving past cows, sung a song in public to your best friend even though you have the world’s worst singing voice, or given up a seat on a bus to a pregnant woman, I love you.
If you have ever made a fool of yourself dancing at a wedding reception, used the word “emancipated” in place of of “emaciated,” or written an entire record of songs to win back the love of your life, I love you.
If you have accidentally farted in church or in class, slipped on ice and fallen down, realized at the end of the day that your shirt is on inside out, or gotten caught picking your nose, I love you.
If you have cried in movies, patiently listened to an elderly person’s story though you’ve already heard it many times, stood up to a bully, or admitted you were wrong when you were wrong, I love you.
If you have looked into the cancer-ravaged, age-spotted face of your grandmother and told her she was beautiful, and really did find her beautiful, I love you.
If you have worn a hideous sweater your mom gave you because you don’t have the heart to tell her how much you hate it, I love you.
If you have complimented a stranger for no reason, I love you.
If you have ever loved a dog so much you knew when it was time to let her go, even if you weren’t yet ready, I love you.
Do you realize what I am telling you? I love you.
I said I love you.
your voice illuminates.
By: jillian on May 6, 2010
at 9:53 pm
Thank you. So does yours.
By: heatherinparadise on May 7, 2010
at 10:12 am
I love you!
By: tommy on May 6, 2010
at 11:05 pm
Oh Heather.I never had a daughter,but if I did ,she would be you.
By: Charlotte Brewer on May 7, 2010
at 5:42 am
This is one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. Thank you. xoxo
By: heatherinparadise on May 7, 2010
at 10:13 am
Thank you….
Carpe Diem
By: Kelly on May 7, 2010
at 7:05 am
Beatutiful Heather!!!!
By: claudiadeplaya on May 7, 2010
at 7:54 am
Your mind is such a beautiful thing. I love you. I am thankful that are paths crossed.
By: islagringo on May 7, 2010
at 8:33 am
Me, too. Can’t wait to see you in about a week!
By: heatherinparadise on May 7, 2010
at 10:14 am
We missed you! Glad to see you back.
By: Semra on May 7, 2010
at 8:34 am
WOW!– you are back! looking forward to more.
By: Mindy on May 7, 2010
at 9:27 am
In a world full of people being politically correct and hedging their words to make sure they don’t offend, you are straight up who you are, and I love you for it.
I love you, too.
By: Nancy on May 7, 2010
at 10:07 am
Declaring love *can* be quite subversive, can’t it? Tom Robbins said it best, “Love is the ultimate outlaw.”
By: heatherinparadise on May 7, 2010
at 1:03 pm
Glad you’re back, Heather!!
By: darla on May 7, 2010
at 11:50 am
my unconditional love back at ya 24/7 every day of the week and twice on sundays, sweets. and a very nice update on your page. take good care, dear friend. love, h
By: Herb Ramlose on May 7, 2010
at 12:05 pm
So glad you’re back, Heather! I’ve really missed your writing!
By: Glenda on May 7, 2010
at 5:20 pm
Again, you have made me smile.
Glad you are back.
By: Elaina on May 8, 2010
at 8:46 am
Thank you
By: Hdominguez on May 8, 2010
at 11:37 am
Love the latest entry & glad to see you back. Looking forward to more food for thought!
By: Shannon on May 8, 2010
at 8:19 pm
Good to have you back, Heather. Thanks for the many many ways that you share your love… and back atcha’!
By: WorkingGringa on May 9, 2010
at 10:53 am
it feels good knowing a drifty nerd like me spawned such a daughter!!!!
By: mom on May 9, 2010
at 7:53 pm
Finally!
I’m reading it tomorrow aloud, on the big-ass LCD projector for my students. Let’s see what they think… they’ve been waiting for your latest blog. comments to follow!
By: aligarcia on May 24, 2010
at 6:56 pm
What an honor, thank you. I’m sorry I’ve been so MIA.
By: heatherinparadise on May 25, 2010
at 2:32 pm
you are my favorite.
By: samantha on May 29, 2010
at 8:51 am
dear heather,
i have been a long time follower/stalker of your blog. my husband and i have been thinking of moving to playa del carmen for a while now, and i found you through searching via all things playa. i love this post. i love this song. my grandma died of cancer last year and i was with her taking care of her when she passed, and i do remember looking at her, thinking how beautiful she was. needless to say this post brought tears to my eyes. i also really understand your post above about depression. i have been dealing with it for 10 years now. anyway i could go on forever. but i have a question. where is a good place to stay in playa del carmen, for about a weeks visit. we would like to come out to get a good sense of the place before hauling our lives out there and i was wondering if you had any suggestions. you can e-mail me at either the one i left in the comment section or at me@apparellel.com i would like to connect with you more regardless.
oh and no hurry and no pressure.
xxx
tessa
p.s. also… a year ago my husband, a friend and i did a ‘free hugs’ day right by manns chinese theatre in hollywood. it was amazing, the responses we got.
By: apparellel on July 5, 2010
at 6:59 pm
Heather,
My sister says that one of the best things about me is that she can fart around me and not be embarrassed. I think that is a high compliment. I think you sound like that kind of person too!
By: Cindy on August 3, 2010
at 8:50 pm