Comments on: Aunt Flo Will Have Her Revenge On Heather Ellen

By: PuertoVallartaGirl

PuertoVallartaGirl — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 03:18:54 +0000

I guess I’m way behind ‘cus I just found you.. but here’s my 2 cents anyway.

I’m 38 in January -nother coincidence.

You know those best friends you have when you are 12. The best friends you’ll ever have… well, thats what they said in the movie “Stand by me” and I believe it. She and I dressed in our nearly matching black spandex and leopard shirts both declared that she wanted kids and to be a mom, and I didn’t.

Years later it was me who got knocked up first at 20 years old, pure fluke – since then I’ve had 2 more.

Now she does have one boy, but she’s like.. “Hey I was the one who wanted kids.” Like I broke some rule or something..

But the truth is… it has kept me on track. Who knows what would have happened to me if I didn’t have kids. They are 16, 6, and 2. And without my kids (and my 2nd husband) I might be lost and drunk somewhere in some random town. Who knows..? It has kept me grounded like someone else said above… without the kids… I think I would be a bit too wild… Though in a way I do miss that (being wild). But it did get pathetic a few times.

Now days all I need is my Manny, and some free time so I can come to some happy medium.

By: Jenny King

Jenny King — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:20:29 +0000

Great post Heather!!! Growing up and in my twenties I was never one to say “I HAVE to get married and have kids someday”, which instantly made me ‘different’. But I am finding that as I get older I love my unconventional life and know that we are all not meant to do the same things. Since I have had a helluva time with my reproductive system turing against me (five surgeries since 2001 for uterine fibroids) I can only guess that my early intuition was right and being a mom was most likely not my role in this lifetime. It takes a lot of strength to overcome the comments I get from those who think they know what is best for other people. If Kevin and I got pregnant tomorrow I would say, “Wow, this was meant to happen” and I know I would be a good mom. But if it doesn’t I am going to be OK, too. We should just enjoy the time we have while we have it. You gotta play with the cards you are dealt!

p.s. Becky was teasing me about kids at the last family thing at Terry’s and I loved it. Her jokes made me realize that this really not a life or death matter for me.

By: Amy

Amy — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 02:19:11 +0000

bloody too

By: Amy

Amy — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 02:18:36 +0000

I cannot wait til I’m an auntie again..maybe by then you will be here and I can have one too and we will raise our babies together like we should. (Are you tired of me sayin this yet?)
ITS A SHAME if you, my most dear friend does not have a child. A bloddy shame, I say.

By: charmarie221

charmarie221 — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 02:20:33 +0000

Awesome, awesome post! I third the Comment about the beat down, by ThisBumpyJournal… excellent description!

My life is all about kids, it seems, but it was never something that was consciously decided, per se, as much as just HERE IT IS. And again… and WOW, AGAIN! Now? Really? Uterus–do you KNOW how old we are????

You know you’ll be awesome at whatever you decide to do. And in whatever capacity you decide your life should take you. Thanks for taking us along for the ride…..

By: jackieinpdx

jackieinpdx — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 18:56:22 +0000

Heather,
I loved this post! The comments were great too. My daughter was born two weeks after my 19th birthday. Was I ready to have a baby? Hell no! But I made the choice not to have an abortion which seemed to be the birth control method of choice for some girls back then.
When I was 30 I was almost admitted to the hospital to control what I considered hemorrhaging. The next year I finally found a female GYN who after a few more tests agreed that I needed to have a hysterectomy. I never regretted not being able to have more children. I had decided at the young age of 31 that Tara was the only child I would ever have.
Best wishes to you with whichever way you decide to go on the baby front.

Oh BTW I loved the photo!

By: Nancy

Nancy — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 00:38:05 +0000

As always Heather, I love your writing. This time I gulped hard for you, because when the baby-maybe’s come and your man has the baby-no’s….there is a big moment happening. Big moment.

I never had to think about it, and I am glad about that. I got pregnant in high school and had my second 19 months later. I’ll have to blog about that someday, if I can be as truthful as you are about things… Now my kids are 37 and 35 and I am so glad I had them, really really glad. But could I sit here and decide to do it, shit no.

Hang in there, you will figure it all out.

By: heatherinparadise

heatherinparadise — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 19:03:46 +0000

James, to me, your opinion is always solicited.

Allthingsarial: I have not. I think I will look into that, thank you!

Everyone else, thank you for your thoughtful, kind, generous, and interesting comments. It’s good to know I’m not alone in this struggle.

By: SarahBI

SarahBI — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 18:41:09 +0000

Heather!! Adam told me I needed to read this! Wow, what a great writer you are! You’d be just as great as a mom (well, better I’m sure)! You just naturally take care of others!

Hope you and S have a good time this week. I’m sad I can’t go along! Miss ya, chica!

By: Fned

Fned — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 18:38:50 +0000

Believe it or not, I have been facing this dilemma since I was 25!!! The french are so retro sometimes. It seems like here, the moment you get married you have 9 months to give birth before someone starts asking why you aint “expanding the family” yet!

Like you, I don’t think I’m sure I want to be a mom. Ever. When I married Hubby he was sincere with me. He didn’t want kids, yet. But he does want them one day. It’s been almost 4 years since we got married and although he still isn’t pushing for us to have any I can feel it coming. Everyone around us is having kids, they’re literally popping up like mushrooms all around us.

I know I still have time to think about it but I feel you when you speak of the confusing and the fear of raising a good little person (and add to that the fact that I’m a creature of habit and I know a little ” ’bout de chou” will only disrupt the pleasant routine we lead in our selfish lives).

As so many people have said before me in this post, it’s a personal choice and whatever you choose to do, I’m sure you’ll excel at it. I can only wish for you what I wish for myself, and that is inner peace.

Big hugs,
Fned.

P.S. Sorry about the period thing too. I’ve been on the pill so long now that my periods come and go with swiss clock’s rigidity. :s