My friends and family already know that I’ve been blue for some time–for at least, oh, about half my life. While my normal M.O.D. is to soldier on, work hard, drink wine, and admit nothing, tonight I’m feeling a bit confessional.

I don’t know about you, but when I get sad, for some reason I love to listen to sad songs. The more melancholy, the better, right? It’s the best way I’ve found to make my own life seem happy in comparison. So tonight, in the grip of it, I’m going to share some songs I think are among the saddest and most beautiful songs I know. I’m trying to make it a manageable list, and I’m limited by what I can find on youtube, so this isn’t an exhaustive or definitive list. It’s just a list; it’s called “self-indulgence,” friends.

I decided to whittle the hundreds of songs I could think of down to 10. And then I went ahead and made it 13, sorry. Not all of them are about love, you know, because love’s not everything. It’s just most things.


Pink Floyd, “Wish You Were Here.” This video cuts off too soon, but since I know you’ve all heard the song millions of times, so what? With lyrics like, Running over the same old ground/What have you found?/The same old fears/Wish you were here, who cares if it cuts out a bit early?


Sinead O’ Connor, “Troy.” Makes no difference what you say/You’re still a liar


REM, “Country Feedback.” Oh, god, this reminds me of high school, being awkward, confused, scared. So much has changed, right? *eyeroll* I was central, I had control, I lost my head…these clothes don’t fit us right…It’s crazy what you could have had…. And etc., you know. Et cetera.


Cat Stevens, “Trouble.” I don’t think I need to or should say anything more.


Concrete Blonde, “Joey.” I heard this for the first time on a tiny mono-radio, broadcast on the “progressive” hour of Camp Casey, South Korea’s military radio station in 1990, while filing papers in a quonset hut for 122 Signal Battalion’s Headquarters Company. Fell in love at first sight and never fell out.


Jim Croce, “Operator.” It’s the you can keep the dime that gets me. I could cry just thinking about this song.

Uncle Tupelo, “Still Be Around.” How many things have I gotten through in my life by listening to Still Feel Gone over and over and over again? I feel like I owe Jay Farrar and Jeff Tweedy some money. Or at least sexual favors or something. Hey Jeff, call me.


Natalie Merchant, “River.” Even if I didn’t have a crush on River Phoenix as a kid this song would still give me goosebumps. Give his mother and his father peace...Jesus woman, you’re killing me. Try to ignore that this lovely video tribute was put together by someone who apparently cannot spell “phoenix.”


The Smiths, “Back to the Old House.” If you don’t know where I grew up, I can’t explain it. Love to my family; my Amy, my Scott, my Jerry.


Jeff Buckley, “Last Goodbye.” I can’t even talk about this one, still. Fuck.


Cowboy Junkies, “Misguided Angel.” An old friend leveled this song at me like an accusation many years ago, and at the time I resented it, but after making a narrow escape from a bad man, I could see how right she was. Every time I hear this song now, I feel like falling on my knees and giving thanks.


The National, “Lucky You.” Ouch, my heart, nothing to be done, come hell or high water. It hurts, mama.


Wilco, “How to Fight Loneliness.” Just smile all the time.

Wow, I feel so much better now, somehow. Thank you, music. Thank you.