My friends and family already know that I’ve been blue for some time–for at least, oh, about half my life. While my normal M.O. is to soldier on, work hard, drink wine, and admit nothing, tonight I’m feeling a bit confessional.
I don’t know about you, but when I get sad, for some reason I love to listen to sad songs. The more melancholy, the better, right? It’s the best way I’ve found to make my own life seem happy in comparison. So tonight, in the grip of it, I’m going to share some songs I think are among the saddest and most beautiful songs I know. I’m trying to make it a manageable list, and I’m limited by what I can find on youtube, so this isn’t an exhaustive or definitive list. It’s just a list; it’s called “self-indulgence,” friends.
I decided to whittle the hundreds of songs I could think of down to 10. And then I went ahead and made it 13, sorry. Not all of them are about love, you know, because love’s not everything. It’s just most things.
Pink Floyd, “Wish You Were Here.” This video cuts off too soon, but since I know you’ve all heard the song millions of times, so what? With lyrics like, Running over the same old ground/What have you found?/The same old fears/Wish you were here, who cares if it cuts out a bit early?
Sinead O’ Connor, “Troy.” Makes no difference what you say/You’re still a liar
REM, “Country Feedback.” Oh, god, this reminds me of high school, being awkward, confused, scared. So much has changed, right? *eyeroll* I was central, I had control, I lost my head…these clothes don’t fit us right…It’s crazy what you could have had…. And etc., you know. Et cetera.
Cat Stevens, “Trouble.” I don’t think I need to or should say anything more.
Concrete Blonde, “Joey.” I heard this for the first time on a tiny mono-radio, broadcast on the “progressive” hour of Camp Casey, South Korea’s military radio station in 1990, while filing papers in a quonset hut for 122 Signal Battalion’s Headquarters Company. Fell in love at first sight and never fell out.
Jim Croce, “Operator.” It’s the you can keep the dime that gets me. I could cry just thinking about this song.
Uncle Tupelo, “Still Be Around.” How many things have I gotten through in my life by listening to Still Feel Gone over and over and over again? I feel like I owe Jay Farrar and Jeff Tweedy some money. Or at least sexual favors or something. Hey Jeff, call me.
Natalie Merchant, “River.” Even if I didn’t have a crush on River Phoenix as a kid this song would still give me goosebumps. Give his mother and his father peace...Jesus woman, you’re killing me. Try to ignore that this lovely video tribute was put together by someone who apparently cannot spell “phoenix.”
The Smiths, “Back to the Old House.” If you don’t know where I grew up, I can’t explain it. Love to my family; my Amy, my Scott, my Jerry.
Jeff Buckley, “Last Goodbye.” I can’t even talk about this one, still. Fuck.
Cowboy Junkies, “Misguided Angel.” An old friend leveled this song at me like an accusation many years ago, and at the time I resented it, but after making a narrow escape from a bad man, I could see how right she was. Every time I hear this song now, I feel like falling on my knees and giving thanks.
The National, “Lucky You.” Ouch, my heart, nothing to be done, come hell or high water. It hurts, mama.
Wilco, “How to Fight Loneliness.” Just smile all the time.
Wow, I feel so much better now, somehow. Thank you, music. Thank you.
Old 97′s, “Valentine”.
“Heartbreak, old friend, goodbye it’s me again.
Of late, I’ve had some thought of movin’ in.
Of all the many ways a man will lose his home,
Well, there ain’t none better than the girl who’s movin’ on.
True love, I knew some thought of leavin’ you.
Bad thoughts I had, when valentines were due.
Of all the many ways a man will break his heart,
Well there ain’t none meaner than he pulls his own apart”
By: Martina on June 28, 2008
at 2:46 am
hopefully this wasn’t your FINAL post….
By: trucker on June 28, 2008
at 5:11 am
Martina, I’m going to check that out on youtube right now. I am so tired this morning, yaaaaawn. Stayed up way too late putting this together.
Rob: Don’t worry, this won’t be my final post. And I’m sorry it’s such a lame post, but I can’t make myself write and be meaningful if I don’t feel like it. Maybe I should get on some medication, huh? Then I might be more creative.
By: heatherinparadise on June 28, 2008
at 7:22 am
Yes we are very much alike, you and I. The weather here is very warm and yet I have chills. If this were my list, I would also add Elton John’s “Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word”. I don’t know how to fix the most important things, but maybe some day. I do know that evenings like you had last night while writing this seem to help somehow.
By: Joyce on June 28, 2008
at 7:27 am
Not necessarily “sad” songs, yet songs that can make me cry without prompting: Cheesy, but American Pie by Don McLean. Can’t Always Get what You Want: the Stones. In My Life: the Beatles. Bus Stop: the Hollies. I had Wilco’s Loneliness as well. I’m sure there’s more considering what a sap I am.
By: Laurel on June 28, 2008
at 12:26 pm
Heather, we share many melancholy favorites. I urge you to find Ryan Adams’ Cold Roses CD asap, if you don’t have it. Sweet Illusion, How Do You Keep Love Alive – so many wonderful songs. I do the same thing you do when I’m blue, and for the same reason. Hang in there. You have many friends you haven’t met yet who want to share a glass of wine (yeah, right – more like a liter) and a laugh (many liters of laughter) with you.
By: Inez on June 28, 2008
at 2:56 pm
Joyce beat me to Elton, but that song…I could just have one of those good crys, and feel better after that one.
When I was 6, my momma had a cutlass that was lime green and I would lay in the back seat Crying and crying over “ricky don’t loose that number” I seriously was worried he would loose it. Numbers are important when you’re 6. I suppose I didn’t realize it was a telephone number. Maybe just a big sign with a 12 or something on it.
By: Amy on June 28, 2008
at 4:58 pm
A fact I share with very few people, is that I suffer from depression also. It’s not so bad here in Mexico where I have access to sunshine most of the time. It was horrible in Minnesota. But I know what you mean. Sometimes when I’m sad, I just want to be sad. It feels good. So I tell people, “Stop trying to cheer me up, dammit!”
By: wayne on June 28, 2008
at 5:12 pm
Sparklehorse, ‘The Most Beautiful Widow’… bittersweet song about longing for what is simultaneously there and not there.
By: Jerry on June 28, 2008
at 8:47 pm
Wasn’t a lame post. I just care ’bout ya.
By: trucker on June 29, 2008
at 7:34 am
I love Concrete Blonde! Most people have never heard of them, my ex-fiance turned me on to them, I still listen to Concrete Blonde, got rid of him!
By: Belinda on June 29, 2008
at 9:26 am
I think of Macy Gray and I Try
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsTk2xp0nvY
I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
argh!
By: Jonna on June 29, 2008
at 10:47 am
When I’m trying to get things done….I like really old rock&roll. Upbeat, happy songs but if I’m sad….a sad song and a good cry gets it out of your system. When I left my first husbsnd my theme song was Biily Joel “I don’t car what you say anymore this is MY LIFE” Have a wonderful day Heather (and only smile if you REALLY want to).
By: beanie on June 29, 2008
at 10:49 am
Ironically, that Elton John song in your title is my LEAST favorite of his popular songs… dunno why…
I always put on some older alto country gal and sing out loud: Patsy Cline or Patty Loveless or Wynonna… (I can feel you cringing over there)… although lately all of my old breakup songs from high school keep popping up on the radio–what is THAT conspiracy all about?
By: Char on June 29, 2008
at 7:45 pm
Hey there.
I know how it goes. There are some days when you SIMPLY CANNOT MAKE IT. In my case I try and make my mind go numb by getting completely inmersed in something that doesn’t require my to be actively participant, like watching music videos non stop or reading all 36 comic books of Hana Yori Dango in one go or playing Seasons 1 through 7 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, anything to take my mind off the fact that life sucks sometimes and you simply don’t feel like facing it. I can literally FEEL my mood swings shifting but I can’t help it so I just tell myself to buckle up and wait for the ride to end.
Take the time off, get away from it all, cry if you need to but rest assured that at some point it DOES GETS BETTER. I always think it wont, but it does. That’s just how amazing our bodies are: they have the power to self heal when they are ready to do so.
Will be checking in.
Take care,
Fned.
By: Fned on June 30, 2008
at 4:23 am
Since all of these aren’t love songs, I’m not sure if this is relevant. I love This American Life- I listen to it while I work. Your post reminded me of one of the episodes in which Starlee Kine tries to come up with the perfect break-up song. It’s really worth listening to, even if you can’t stand her voice (I can’t). Here’s a link to it. And, no, I don’t get paid by them, but I wish I did!
By: mexpat on June 30, 2008
at 8:08 pm
“I don’t know about you, but when I get sad, for some reason I love to listen to sad songs.”
I have the same thing.. i dont know why..
By: Kevin on October 29, 2008
at 1:30 pm