Theresa in Merida wrote a blog inspired by La Gringa’s blog about bloggers not answering comments. Both of these blogs ask why other bloggers don’t answer their readers’ comments, and both seemed to be of the opinion that it’s rude not to.
These were both interesting blogs and good food for thought. I’ve often thought about this very issue from a slightly different angle, wondering how/why it is that some bloggers feel compelled to answer/respond to every comment they get, and if this was some unwritten blogger etiquette of which I was unaware. Because I do not answer/respond to every comment I get. If there is a direct question, I do my best to answer it. If it’s something that spurs me to respond, then I also do. But if I don’t have anything to say or add, or if I feel the comment didn’t obviously require an answer, then I don’t always respond. And sometimes I don’t respond because I forget, or whatever, or life gets in the way. Frankly, I feel a little funny when I read some blogs where the blogger responds to each and every comment. I don’t know why, but I do.
It’s easy to see that we bloggers are generally a sensitive lot and perhaps this is why so many of us need the positive reinforcement of comments or responses to our comments. I’m just as sensitive, but when it comes to my writing, I’m a bit more detached, I guess. Sure it hurts when I get a stinging comment, but if there is one thing this blog does for me, it is disabuse me of the ridiculous notion that everyone is always going to like me. They’re not going to and they don’t, even if, in my opinion, liking me is an EXCELLENT idea that EVERYONE should try.
While I enjoy reading the comments I get, and I also have fun leaving comments on other people’s blogs, comments are not the reason I write this thing. I blog because it’s there, because it helps me get through my life. I know from my blog stats that you’re out there in the world, reading. Paying attention. And that fact is gravy for me. Some people don’t like to make comments and would prefer to lurk. I would never dream of chastising these people for failing to comment on everything I write. Nor would I ever get upset with a fellow blogger for not responding to every comment I make.
I will admit that sometimes I wonder why friends or family whom I KNOW read my blog NEVER comment, but why would I expect the same level of interest of a stranger?
Being a part of this Latin American Ex-Pat blog circle has honestly become one of the more important things in my life, and I don’t regret my involvement for one second; however, I do decline to “keep score” of who’s leaving comments or responding to comments and who isn’t. I can only see that leading to a tedious, rote round of meaningless pats on the back and insincerity that NONE of us need in our lives.
I commend Theresa in Merida and La Gringa for bringing up this topic and giving me an opportunity to really think hard about how I feel about this issue. Good work, bloggers.
(BTW, this is not an “out,” people. You are still all required to leave comments.)
Comment left.
Happy now *smile*
By: Roni on June 3, 2008
at 7:48 am
You said it better than I would have, but I was thinking the same thing!
Comment or not, answer comments or not, that’s my policy.
By: Nancy on June 3, 2008
at 7:56 am
I always enjoy your rants and raves about life as an ex-pat. I am jealous of you and other ex-pats who actually had the huevos to leave their life behind in order to live in paradise. Congrats to you. Keep ranting and raving about all the ups and downs of living in paradise.
By: Gus on June 3, 2008
at 8:40 am
I don’t always leave a comment but I DO always read your blog. Also, I noticed you tagged me a blog or two ago, I will answer that blog in mine, someday, soon. Life is shall we say challengingly busy right now. I do enjoy your blogs/rants (I have a few too). Keep it up chickita!!!!
By: Jackie on June 3, 2008
at 9:10 am
Sometimes I leave a comment, most times I just lurk. Most of all I think your an excellent blogger and I look forward to each of your new posts.
By: Beachykeen on June 3, 2008
at 9:18 am
oh MAN, I could have written this blog! I know there are more people reading my blog than leave comments, because in person or in an email they’ll mention something I blogged. So there are more than the 4 people who regularly comment.
Also, I didn’t know the etiquette either… I didn’t respond to many of the comments left on my blog BECAUSE I never thought people would come back and check to see if I’d responded… because that would mean a re-visitation to the same blog… and who would want to do that? And then if I commented on their comment, will they feel compelled to comment on that comment? If I check back on a blog and read the blogger’s comment on my comment, do I comment on that comment?
Frankly, this is a lot of pressure.
So I just comment on the blogs that inspire a comment within me, and do the same with the comments left for me. And just hope people keep reading and that I don’t offend anyone in the commenting process.
By: charmarie221 on June 3, 2008
at 9:37 am
LOL, I don’t expect comments on my blog because generally I don’t say much that needs commenting. So I am thrilled when I get them so I try to answer them all, but that is me. I was writing about bloggers who NEVER answer comments, or questions. There is a big difference, I didn’t want to post the blog addresses.
Life does get in the way sometimes and we all do this stuff for different reasons.
regards,
Theresa
By: Theresa in Merida on June 3, 2008
at 9:44 am
Heather, My first comment!!! I belong to another site that uses wordpress. Someone asked why we all had little quilting squares beside our names. Answer=We all belong to the Amish Mafia! Enjoy your blog muchly!
By: beanie on June 3, 2008
at 9:48 am
Now I’m all paranoid not to comment on each of your comments.
I’ve read them all and appreciate each of you!! Thank you for reading my blog!
By: heatherinparadise on June 3, 2008
at 11:31 am
Heather, you know I read your blog. Today I hasten to leave a meaningless comment and trust you have better things to do than comment on it. Further, I do not promise not to comment on your not commenting if you do not do so.
Caroline
By: Caroline on June 3, 2008
at 12:10 pm
Honestly the reason I NEVER leave a comment is that I know that I will never, ever be as clever and witty as you! I am a total and complete Heather in Paradise addict, and I will try and become more active…..I promise:)
Sara
By: Sara on June 3, 2008
at 12:14 pm
I read ALL your BLOGS. And I try to comment. But sometimes, someone has already said what I want to say. And when I do leave a comment, I think I sound silly (shoe celibacy, anyone?) and I don’t know how to take it back.
By: Vanessa on June 3, 2008
at 1:23 pm
I was here.
By: Melissa on June 3, 2008
at 2:18 pm
I re-read my comment to your blog and I think it’s longer than the blog I was just working on… my my…
(you don’t have to comment on this comment)
By: charmarie221 on June 3, 2008
at 3:41 pm
Since Theresa’s blog, I have been trying to answer comments. Three days now. Guess what? I’m starting to dread comments when I used to really savor them. Is it really necessary to say thank you every time somebody says great pics or the like? I mostly write my blog for MY enjoyment but am delighted that other people enjoy it too. This is all such a touchy subject…and to think I never gave it a thought before! (you needn;t respond!)
By: wayne on June 3, 2008
at 7:22 pm
I’ve read some comments on other bloggers’ blogs that have gotten under my skin: things about how etiquette is “generational” and how answering/leaving comments is just how people “were raised.”
Give me a flipping break, y’all. The internet is not that old, and blogs are even younger. If we’re going to talk about “generational” differences, let’s really examine this new medium that we are ALL learning to navigate at the same time.
If I have to post in a clinical, sanitized style so as to avoid ever possibly *gasp* offending someone, then I’m quitting tomorrow. And if I have to respond to every single comment that’s left on this blog, well, then, perhaps blogging is not for me.
But then, I have never been someone who gives gifts just so that I can be thanked for them, or so that people give me good gifts in return. I prefer to treasure the honestly given gift, myself, and give gifts to others when I think I’ve found just the right thing for them.
But that’s me.
By: heatherinparadise on June 3, 2008
at 8:49 pm
I was here again.
Heather…..just keep on keeping on! Do what you’ve been doing!
No worries.
Yes I have been drinking some of the Pomegranate Tequila I brought home. My fridge broke. I have to drink it before it goes bad.
By: Melissa on June 3, 2008
at 10:37 pm
Honey, it won’t go bad out of the fridge. But keep on drinking it nonetheless. For you rule.
By: heatherinparadise on June 3, 2008
at 11:18 pm
Just keep on writing .. no reply necessary. Love reading your blog.
By: K. W. from Michigan on June 4, 2008
at 5:30 am
Did you read the Emily Gould – formerly of Gawker media – piece in the Times last week?
(not a rhetorical question)
By: jillian on June 4, 2008
at 7:52 am
K.W. Thank you! I hope you aren’t upset that I’ve responded when you asked me not to.
Jillian: No, I did not. My interest is piqued-I’m going to go look for it.
By: heatherinparadise on June 4, 2008
at 8:29 am
Jillian, that was great. I’m curious, did you suggest that as a warning to me?
I’m going to stew over it for a bit, read it a few more times, and maybe make a blog about it. Thank you.
By: heatherinparadise on June 4, 2008
at 8:52 am
Deep down I know it won’t go bad….Wahhhhh it was a poor excuse to drink. Therefore I am going with this….I was drinking it just in case the house starts to burn down. Alcohol is flammable.
Safety reasons.
By: Melissa on June 4, 2008
at 10:48 am
I have a blogger confession to make- I sometimes just don’t feel like it!
Sometimes I don’t feel like blogging, or reading blogs, or commenting, or commenting on comments!! So I don’t. Sometimes I’m all high on blogging and I comment on everyones’ comments before they even make them (yes, psychic blogging, yes, *nods head*).
You don’t gots to comment, or blog, or comment on my comments if you don’t want to, You’re still coo.
The bringing me panties in jail- that you really do HAVE to do- it’s your duty. Not negotiable. You don’t have to comment to anyone when you drop them off *giggles*
By: lisaloveloca on June 4, 2008
at 3:05 pm
Frankly, I feel a little funny when I read blogs where the blogger responds to each and every comment.
Heather, I agree. Where’s the attitude – all of those replies come across as so…ingratiating – a word that sounds exactly as annoying as it is to me. Try saying that word without your lips forming a smug smile.
Being forced to reply is like your mom making you write a thank-you note. And this is not a generational comment. I am in my 50s.
By: Inez on June 4, 2008
at 7:14 pm
Lisa: If I ever find any clean, really tiny panties, consider them yours.
Inez, do you have a blog? If so, I think it is one I would love to read.
By: heatherinparadise on June 4, 2008
at 9:36 pm
Heather, you made my day! I am, in fact, beginning a blog. I’ll let you know when it’s up and running.
By: Inez on June 5, 2008
at 7:55 am
Heather, I’m on the same page as you. I don’t blog for the comments and I really only reply if someone asks me a direct question. Of course, now I actually will be a bit more sensitive to whether I respond or not. Lots of times, I will leave a comment just to let the writer know that I was there and thinking about them. I don’t read all of my favorite blogs everyday. I just don’t have time. I try to spread out the comments as well just as a quick “hello”.
By: micheleinplaya on June 6, 2008
at 8:37 am
OK, I left you a comment, now it is your turn to come leave me one….Hope you stop by!
By: Linda on October 21, 2008
at 11:30 am
Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog.
Cheers! Sandra. R.
By: sandrar on September 10, 2009
at 2:52 pm