Heather in Paradise

Last Sunday, Andale magazine (a local free classifieds mag) sponsored their 4^th Annual Bazar. A bazar is like what we in the US would call a rummage sale. The streets are blocked off and anyone who wants to can come down, borrow a table, and fill it with all the crap that accumulates in human lives. I had never before made it to this event, which is hard for me to fathom, since back home I was the Garage sale/flea market/thrift store Queen.

My friend Anna and her sister Laura had the great idea of selling all of their unwanted items and donating the money to their favorite charity: The Peanut Pet Shelter. This shelter, which Gringo in Paradise Wayne wrote about, is run by my friends Andy and Jen, and exists solely on donations. It is the only shelter of its kind in a city overrun with starving, mistreated, and sick street animals.

I and some other folks decided to add in whatever we could to sell alongside Anna and Laura’s goods. Preparing for this, I looked around my house and realized how very little I have that anyone could possibly want, but I managed to add a few things to the pile.

It was a hot, hot, hot sunny day, but we managed to have a good old time hanging out, drinking beer, and wheedling people out of their pesos. We had a corkboard in front of the table with pictures of some shelter dogs. I was surprised by how many people inquired if we were selling dogs/puppies. This gave us a good opportunity to talk up the shelter and invite people out to look around; however, strangely enough some people lost interest when they found out we weren’t SELLING the dogs, that they were only poor street dogs who needed homes and could be had for a nominal donation and ample amounts of love. People. Sigh.

Anna, set up in front of Il Barreto restaurant on 5^th and Calle 26 (Wayne, this is where we had dinner when you were here)

It was a zoo. Since we don’t have street markets here, I’ve let my abilities atrophy and I was REALLY out of my element. I walked around for about 2 minutes before I fled in terror back to the safety of our little table.

This banner was obviously not hung with tall people in mind. Even I got whacked in the face with it, and I’m only 5’9”.

These poor plants. If you put your ear up to your monitor, you can hear them crying faintly, “Agua…aaaaaaguaaa.”

Snow White, with what appear to be two broken arms!? Who could be responsible for battering this cartoon character? The dwarves are missing…very suspicious. Perhaps it was Doc who gave her the casts.

Please, buy my junk. I’ll cheat you fairly.

“I had a nightmare I was a blonde.” Poor blondes, the last group against whom it is socially acceptable to be prejudiced. Poor, poor blondes.

Ah, a nice, relaxing place to get a massage. Plus, are those generic FROOT LOOPS for sale on that table in the foreground? Mmmm, yum!

Anna had a dog bed full of beautiful Italian leather shoes I tried desperately to cram my fat feet into. Alas, I am more Drusilla than Cinderella.

Blogger alert! Blogger alert!

I had this guy read my tarot and he said he saw a lot of empty wine bottles and taco-eating in my future. Also, he said the Cubs will not win the World Series this year. Like I needed a tarot reading to tell me that stuff. Sheesh.

Anna just could NOT understand why her J.Lo bag and those crafty/thready/embroidery/stitchery things didn’t sell. Probably because she was asking 1,000 pesos each. I have a feeling she didn’t really WANT to sell them.

Then, without warning, an Army of Creepy Clownz attacked from all sides.

They’re everywhere! They’re everywhere!!

Dude, look out for that banner!

See this kid’s face? Wanna know what he was looking at?

I feel you, kiddo. This clown makes me want my mommy, too. Yikes…his eyes follow me, no matter where I move.

Andy, Anna, Judy, and Steve. Hey Steve, is that a large wooden phallus in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Andy and me, blowing.

What a beautiful family.

Mami, can I have this? How ‘bout this? Mami, I want this!! And this, too! Mami…Mami! (look at her, already in training with the high heels).

Gorgeous Italian Anna

I got crabs. That woman to the right in the background is looking at me with such disdain. Ouch. Well, at least I didn’t get knocked up, lady!

Live music! The one, the only, Carlos Medina Mendoza! Whatever you do, don’t EVER smell his top hat.

We tried in vain to get this man to buy the unused (I SWEAR!) love sponge.

We sold this suit much faster when people saw how good it looked on Anna.

In the end, we raised over 6,500 pesos for the pet shelter…Anna and Laura should be REALLY proud of themselves. Thanks to Andy, Jen, Steve, Judy, Claudia, and Gary for keeping us in stitches all day. Can’t wait until next year!!