This list of sociopathic traits was borrowed from this website and is based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare. According to these folks at www.exitsupportnetwork.com, in the 1830’s this disorder was called “moral insanity.” By 1900 it was changed to “psychopathic personality.” More recently it has been termed “antisocial personality disorder.”
Whatever it is called, read this through and see if it reminds you of any of the people you know. I think it’s safe to say that if you recognize anyone you know in these descriptions, you need to run, run away…and absolutely DO NOT date or befriend anyone who exhibits (at the very most) 10 of these 15 traits. I have had WAY more crazymakers in my life than the law should allow and I categorically decline to invite any more of them in. I’m full to the brim with the manic depression, but thanks anyway, nutballs!
A number of mind-controlling cult leaders may exhibit many of the behavioral characteristics of a sociopath–an outstanding ability to charm and seduce followers. Since they appear apparently normal, they are not easily recognizable as deviant or disturbed. Although only a trained professional can make a diagnosis of whether or not someone is a sociopath, it is important to be able to recognize the personality type in order to avoid further abuse. These traits also apply to a one-on-one cultic relationship.
Glibness/Superficial Charm
Language can be used without effort by them to confuse and convince their audience. Captivating storytellers that exude self-confidence, they can spin a web that intrigues others. Since they are persuasive, they have the capacity to destroy their critics verbally or emotionally.
Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They dominate and humiliate their victims.
Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as “their right.” Craves adulation and attendance. Must be the center of attention with their own fantasies as the “spokesman for God,” “enlightened,” “leader of humankind,” etc. Creates an us-versus-them mentality.
Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and able to pass lie detector tests.
Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion, it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
Incapacity for Love
While they talk about “God’s love” they are unable to give or receive it. Since they do not believe in the genuineness of their followers’ love, they are very harsh in testing it from their devotees and expect them to feel guilt for their failings. Expects unconditional surrender.
Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge, yet testing the beliefs of their followers with bizarre rules, punishments and behaviors. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal.
Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others’ feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them. Their skills are used to exploit, abuse and exert power. Since the follower cannot believe their leader would callously hurt them, they rationalize the behavior as necessary for their (or the group’s) own “good” and deny the abuse. When devotees become aware of the exploitation it feels like a “spiritual rape” to them.
Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others. The followers only see them as near perfect.
Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet “gets by” by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others’ lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blame their followers or others outside their group. Blame reinforces passivity and obedience and produces guilt, shame, terror and conformity in the followers.
Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Totalist leaders frequently practice promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts. This is usually kept hidden from all but the inner circle. Stringent sexual control of their followers, such as forced breakups and divorces, removal of children from parents, rules for dating, etc.
Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future. Many groups claim as their goal world-domination or other utopian promises. Great contrast between the leader’s opulent lifestyle and the followers’ impoverishment. Support by gifts and donations from the followers who are pressured to give through fear and guilt. Highly sensitive to their own pain and health.
Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image and that of the group as needed to avoid prosecution and to increase income and to recruit a range of members. Is able to adapt or relocate as needed to preserve the group. Can resurface later with a new name, a new front group and a new twist on the scam.
May 15, 2008 at 6:11 am
Very interesting, I personally liked the original term of Moral Insanity, kind of says it all to me.
May 15, 2008 at 7:06 am
I and someone I know very well have had experience with someone JUST like this. My friend much more so. It’s easier to see it when you’re not so involved as my friend was. Yikes.
May 15, 2008 at 7:47 am
Yeah, I dated that guy once. Seriously. He was a master at the “Intermittent Reinforcement” that keeps their blind followers hanging on as well. (Hmmm… maybe I actually dated that guy lots of times, in hindsight…)
Heather, may I borrow your “crazymakers” term? I’ve definitely had too many of them in my life as well. I hope I’m wise enough now to run before they get close enough to make me crazy too.
May 15, 2008 at 8:35 am
Too late- but thanks for trying to warn me. I already lived with this guy- I even ended up doing a case study on him for my Abnormal Psychology class.
There is another great book out there called, “The Sociopath Next Door”
check it!
May 15, 2008 at 8:45 am
Yes I know this guy. Well. I would be that friend of Joyce’s! lol
May 15, 2008 at 10:34 am
Wow, what perfect timing after my latest blog entry, Heather.
The subject of my blog of yesterday is a diagnosed sociopath, or “antisocial personality”. So interesting timing for me to read your blog, I’m sure you haven’t even read my latest entry yet!! Funny how things work sometimes, eh? hahaha. But thanks for helping me to make sure I keep my eyes open!
May 15, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I can think of people I have met that match a LOT of these characteristics, but I never thought to use such a big term to describe them. I just basically thought, “What an asshole” and tried my best to disassociate or avoid them. But seeing how they were able to manipulate so many people, they very well might be/have been sociopaths. And it was very sad how many people didn’t see how they were until it was too late and they had been very hurt. Interesting stuff.
May 15, 2008 at 6:23 pm
OMG…If only this blog was posted BEFORE april 7th 2001,we all could have saved that girl ALOT of heart ache, no?
May 16, 2008 at 3:52 am
Haven’t we all dated one? When I was in high school my mom said I was personal psychologist for every boyfriend I had. After reading this, I wonder how many are cult leaders!!LOL
May 16, 2008 at 5:58 am
Dearest Heather, thank you for this informative blog. Not only do I know one of these cretins, I married him, and he fathered my precious child. NOw I have a scientific description of him. Asshole just didn’t cut it anymore.
May 17, 2008 at 11:32 am
That prick worked for me for 5 years. They’re incredibly dangerous people and I wish I’d been taught the symptoms in high school.
May 18, 2008 at 1:09 am
A perfect match for my first ex-roommate. I lived with him for 3 weeks and saw him manipulating a very good friend who was in the top 4% of his class. I moved out after I caught him stealing a casette and returning it for money to buy food for himself. I told him I was moving out and told my friend he needed too as well because he was being manipulated. One week later I was on my way back from a family reunion and I heard on the radio a gas station attendant had been murdered where this maniac had been fired for manipulating time cards. He had this formerly very intelligent friend do the dirty work and quickly went to trial before myself and others could stand as character witnesses to his manipulative and abusive mind. He skated with 50 years and is up for parole in 2013. My old friend, who had been kind and helpful to many people, said he did this horrific thing because he felt,”he owed him”. He got 90. This sociopath knows where much of my family lives. You can bet I’ll be attending his parole hearing if at all possible.
September 17, 2008 at 11:17 pm
I think I met a socio once… he came off as fun, excinting, but also very fake. He must have known I didn’t exactly trust him. Becuase he paid me $2,000 cash for me to tell him where his ex wife moved… seriously… how weird.. I did it, but he’s still a creepy asshole…