Posted by: heatherinparadise | April 1, 2008

Stank Foot Update

I got good news yesterday: no more cast. Doctor Gustavo didn’t even flinch when removing my cast, though I sure did from the sound of the saw cutting it off. He had to reassure me several times that the wheel on the saw didn’t spin and that he would not accidentally cut my leg off. I mean, I know that there are fetishists who crave amputees to the exclusion of all others, but I’m unsure if Michael would be one of them.

When he cracked the cast and I felt a breeze on my leg, I sighed with relief. And then Michael got a look at my Chewbacca leg and nearly fainted from disgust. Let’s just say that my mermaid tattoo could have gotten work as a bearded lady in a circus sideshow.

The doctor looked it over and declared no other cast was necessary, but that I had to “exercise” my ligaments by flexing and pointing my foot, and by walking around and swimming. Putting weight on it at first was excruciating, with burning pain shooting into my heel. It feels like I’m walking directly on the bone, as if I have no flesh between my skeleton and the ground. I guess this is probably because my clavi (which, bust my buttons, is the plural of callus) got soft and flaked away inside the cast.

I made Michael drive me home immediately so I could wash/boil/sterilize/scrape/shave that leg. He said he still isn’t getting anywhere near my foot until I wash it a few more times, and that the smell has permeated the entire house, but he’s just joking.

I mean, I hope he’s joking.

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Responses

  1. What?! No pictures?!

  2. Yay, congrats on freeing the sasquatch! Take it easy on yourself, go get a pedicure (and not a “normal” one, go for the full spa one with the nice smelly stuff) and no more accidents!

  3. Felicidades! I have been wanting to take you out for a drink (to celebrate my moving to playa) but sure couldn’t do it with you as a gimp -especially a gimp with a stank foot. Let me know when Michael finally goes near the foot. Then I’ll know its safe to invite you out in public! :)

  4. Vanessa, I totally meant to take pictures but then was in such a hurry to shave/wash that I completely forgot. Michael was appalled that I would even consider immortalizing the beast with photographs.

    CancunCanuck: Thank you! I tried to get a pedi yesterday, but the lady wasn’t there (no explanation on the door, just closed, gotta love Mexico). I’ll try again today. And no more accidents, I swear.

  5. Ok, Ok. I can do without the pictures because you managed to beautifully describe your leg so well. I was laughing so hard, I blew little chunks of Sun Chips all over my monitor.

    Glad to hear all is well!! Now burn some candles!

  6. So did the tuna stank remain? Or was it more rotten cheesy? LOL.

    Congrats btw. That’s awesome!

  7. Ha ha!! (Nelson laugh)

    Toldja about the Sasquatch leg… I’m greatly relieved to find out it wasn’t just me!

    I remember the first time I bent my wrist after being in the cast for 6 weeks. Felt worse than the finger did when I broke it. Owowowowow…

    Congrats!

  8. Yay! You are all better!!!!!!Now stay healthy!!!!

  9. Glad you got the cast off! Should of taken a pic of the hairy, sexy leg! :)

  10. Yay! So glad you’re freed from the cast. The sasquatch aspect hadn’t occurred to me. Huh, I guess doctors see that a lot.

    You need to seize the moment and make sure you get some nice foot and calf massages out of this from your fella. An opportunity like this will (hopefully) never come again.

  11. Marissa, I got a pedicure yesterday, so it’s safe to get near me. Will probably take two more pedis, however, to get off all the dead skin. Yick.

    Elizabeth, the doctor flung the cast into a far corner as soon as he cut it off, so I imagine it smelled rank.

  12. Shake a leg, Heather – ‘Clavi is the plural of callus’… that sounded like one for April 1st.

    But, now pull the other one, since it appears to be true. Crikey.

  13. Funny you mention that, it shocked me to see that clavi was a plural for callus (found on a medical website), but now I’ve seen clavi as the plural of clavus, which is apparently another word for corn. I’ve alternately found calli as plural for callus, as well as calluses.

    I’m a big nerd who looks this stuff up late at night, but now I’m just really confused, so use whichever suits you best.

  14. Yipeeee! Doing a one legged happy dance for you! I can walk but can’t dance yet. Congrats Heather, and I know there is no need to tell you to be careful who would want to repeat that!

  15. Congrats on finally get out of the cast.

  16. Yay! Congratulations! :)


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