Posted by: heatherinparadise | November 30, 2007

Wrath of a Cruel God

Living in the tropics means you live with creepy crawlies, even in your house.  We regularly have geckos all over  the place, but they’re pretty cute and aside from one occasionally falling off the ceiling onto my head or peeing on me, I don’t have too many problems with them.  Here and there I’ve encountered a scorpion, a small snake, or a not-so-small spider, and I have discovered that I have absolutely no truck with those creatures.  Michael has to deal with them, since just like in the old 50s movies, I’m up on the highest chair shrieking and covering my face with my frilly apron.

The ants are little more than a nuisance. No food item can be left out overnight, ever, even in what may appear to be a sealed container.  Did you know that ants can chew through heavy-duty Ziploc bags to get to a bag of flour or rice, even when doubled?

This morning, I noticed hundreds of tiny ants in the sink, swarming over a bit of toothpaste in the bowl.  I turned the water on and flushed most of them down the drain, while those nearest the edges lost their little minds and started running furiously away from the water.  Not too many made it, but I did see a few running back to the cracks in the wall from whence they’d come. 

As I brushed my teeth, I imagined what it must have been like to witness the rapid death of so many of their brethren.  Did they rush back home, thoraxes heaving, crying in agony, “The horror, the horror!”?  Will they suffer Survivor Guilt?  In years to come, will they recount to their offspring the sad tale of the Great Sink Tsunami of ought-seven? 

My God, what have I done?

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Responses

  1. You are just doing what God does…population control.Just imagine if you didnt do your “Godly” duty…there would be a world over-run by these Mexican ants.

  2. It’s the same here…only instead of ants, we have crickets. And the noise they make is soo annoying. Luckily the dogs help weed them out by hunting them. Luckily I have yet to see a scorpion, snake, or big spider other than while hiking. I did have a black widom on my back porch though once.

  3. I used to keep pretty much everything in the fridge. Now, back here in the tundra (or at least the direct opposite of the tropics anyway) I still do. I like cereal and crackers better when they are cold…

    And this was a pretty hilarious post, by the way. Heaving thoraxes, quite the visual.

  4. Being the gal I am I must wonder….if the ants were so attracted to the tiny drop of toothpaste, surely there must have been traces on your toothbrush still…MAYBE you brush your teefs with a toothpaste/tiny little ant combo? EWWW!!!!

  5. A few weeks ago, our friend Antonio asked me about one of our ant traps. After I explained that I was trying to get rid of some of the f’ing ants, he made some comparison to me and the leader of a large neighboring country. Welcome to the club.

  6. I know you left this post behind you long ago, but I read the part about killing ants and wondered if you felt guilty. If you did, you don’t need to. Ants can live under water for up to two weeks, so they probably all live in your house again by now.

    Caroline

  7. Oh, thank you for that, Caroline. I’ll be sleeping just GREAT tonight.


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