Heather in Paradise

I watched this movie last night, again, which means that this year alone, I’ve seen this movie at least 15 times. To poor Michael’s probable dread, I am constitutionally incapable of turning it off if I see it’s playing. It may come as a surprise that until I was 17 years old, I had never seen “It’s a Wonderful Life,” in fact, I’d never even heard of it. How a TV-watching freak managed to get through 16 Christmases WITHOUT seeing it is a question more puzzling than the Sphinx’s lame riddle, and yet, I had managed it.

That 17^th year, I was in acting class and had to “act” out the scene where George and Mary are sharing the telephone, listening to Sam “Hee Haw” Wainwright’s call. I use the term “act” loosely with regard to me; I was quite possibly the worst actress known to Zion-Benton Township High School history, which came as a great shock and disappointment to me, since I was such a good liar then and wanted with all my heart to be an actress.

My partner in the scene was a guy in my class I’d just met a few months earlier, and someone who had quickly become my favorite person. He was an excellent actor, and I really feel sorry for him that he got stuck with me. We had to actually kiss in class at the end of the scene, which of course made all the kids giggle. He was a boy with coarse, thick hair and I remember my cheeks tingled for the next period afterward from his beard stubble. I didn’t concentrate well the entire rest of the day, and even remembering how I felt makes me blush. That Christmas, he rode his bicycle to my house on a frigid night and gave me the present of “It’s a Wonderful Life” on video. It remains one of the best gifts I’ve ever received.

Every time I watch the movie, I historically start crying at the scene where Mr. Gower the druggist is sad and drunk because his son had died and slaps young George, who cries out, “I know you feel bad…don’t hit my sore ear again,” etc. Last night was a different story. I started crying at the very beginning, when the voices of George’s friends and family are praying for him. By the end of the movie, I was exhausted from all the crying, but felt so uplifted and happy and hopeful.

Recently I’ve been in better contact with my old friend, the boy who gave me this movie as a gift. He had been going through a very rough time and had nothing but terrible things to say about himself. It rankled me, the way it always rankles me when someone says something bad about my family or other people I love. So last night as I watched this movie, I found myself thinking of all of the ways in which this friend had changed my life for the better, for the ways in which his life has mattered to mine. “Each man’s life touches so many other lives.” How could he not see how important he is? He is the boy who rode his bicycle from another town on a freezing night to give me the gift of this wonderful movie, and he better never forget it.

As I bawled my way through the last minutes of the film, I made a promise to myself that the next time I feel depressed or worthless, I am going to rent this movie and watch it again. Because no man is a failure who has friends.